Editorial of March 20, 2025
On Being Polite
Once upon a time, back in the old days when “please,” “thank you,” and “may I?” were fairly common expressions, passed down and enforced for many generations, our all-encompassing traditional devotion to good manners contributed greatly to the civilized polite society in which we then lived. People of all walks of life were nice to each other, considerate of each others’ feelings and inclinations, and caring about their well-being and development. Being polite was the high standard of etiquette and, although politeness often could be interpreted differently in differing countries and cultures—often what one culture regards as polite behavior may seem rude or eccentric to another—politeness was a necessary factor of getting along and being generally successful.
Politeness is the practical application of good manners, a manifestation of courtesy, tact, and consideration in an effort to not offend others and to put them at ease with one another. The word comes from the Latin politus, meaning polished. In 17th- and 18th-century Europe, during the Enlightenment, polite behavior became synonymous with the genteel upper class and upward mobility. The middle-class bourgeoisie, increasingly trying to identify themselves with the elite, adopted the latter’s standards of behavior, becoming preoccupied with the rules of etiquette at the time—elegant dress, graceful, non-threatening conversation and a courteous way of going—so the people with whom they were communicating would form a better opinion of them through their pleasing actions and demeanor. The concept of “civility” referred to a social action which valued sober and reasoned debate on matters of common interest.
While this served the Enlightenment well, reforming and perfecting English manners and morals, such civility— politeness—did not last. In the early days of our Republic, the Founding Fathers, whom we have always admired for their incisive forethought and exceptional accomplishments, quite regularly tossed impolite, rude words back and forth across their newly formed party lines; the Constitutional Convention was, in fact, an event of fierce, and often extremely disrespectful, partisanship. Unfortunately, what once was a polite world is no better now, especially with the onset of the Internet and the development of a global social media, which offers myriad platforms on which to speak anonymously, thereby intensifying one’s ability to harangue any (political) target with uncivil language and thought. Is it a wonder that there is little bipartisanship in our governments?
Today, politeness is practically anathema. No one, in this country or abroad, seems to feel the necessity to act toward others with any form of courtesy, tactfulness, respectful and deferential behavior, or consideration in order to get the job done. That job, by the way, is most probably a negative barrier to any form of intelligent and appropriate progress.
We do hope the purportedly upstanding and qualified elected members of our current legislatures do not in fact really believe they are being polite, because they are not. Nor are the citizens of this country who so inappropriately choose to vandalize random Teslas that belong to their fellow countrymen. There are better ways to co-exist, communicate and agree to disagree.
