Hawthorn Hill Journal by Richard deRosa

On Aging Out and Letting Go

The idea of aging out of anything had not occurred to me until a few weeks ago when explaining to a friend my decision to trade in my medium-sized tractor for a smaller lawn tractor. It is an appropriate phrase to characterize the phase I now find myself in. The tractor’s primary function these past 20 or so years has been snow blowing our very steep hill. It has gotten harder every year to gear myself up to do battle with the elements. Besides, we have a very reliable friend down the road capable of plowing the driveway in minutes. An average snowfall would take me at least an hour. As I have aged, I have realized that the concept of an economy of scale not only applies to economics but to life itself. It makes sense, at least more sense than it ever has, to winnow one’s chores down to those that put less of a burden on one’s diminished resources, both physical and mental. It boils down to this. Comes a time to farm out once enjoyable tasks to someone with a bit more vim and vigor, someone younger, stronger, and still able to win the battle of mind over matter. James Madison has been described as “all mind and no matter.” In his case, this had to do with his diminutive stature. Of course, he needn’t have worried too much about such matters since he had an army of slaves to look after things at Montpelier.

Aging out strikes me as extremely relevant when one considers many members of the two houses of Congress. Especially the Senate. A lot of old suits bustling about that chamber. The composition of the House appears to have its fair share of AARP-eligible members as well. We are not a nation of just old folks; plenty of young’uns abound. The problem is that we have a bunch of superannuated oldies up there apparently blind to the compelling needs of the world we live in. They seem bereft of understanding, compassion, and the very moral codes they claim to adhere to. A New York Times crossword puzzle clue recently asked how young people refer to their parents. Silly me, at age 81, I am still stuck in the mother and father zone. The answer: the olds. My grandchildren, lovingly I assume, refer to my wife Sandy and I as fossils one and two. She is one. I argued for one, but was turned down.

I have begun to question some long-held convictions, especially with respect to issues of good governance and public policy. My basic beliefs about ethical behavior and the need for one to be guided by a moral compass have not changed. What has changed is a lifelong adherence to the virtue of top-down policy making, especially within the realms of culture and personal behavior and responsibility. What is good for one or a few is not necessarily good for all. The goal is to take such differences into account and find ways of accommodating one another. Accommodating one another is a good thing. Especially when not doing so imperils us all. We throw the phrase e pluribus unum about rather blithely. But does that still hold true? It is a noble idea whose validity, despite its appeal, is open to question. Disunity characterizes our relations more accurately than unity. Perhaps we are aging out of what we have been to become something new. In his book, “The Evolution of Everything,” Matt Ridley describes government as “… an arrangement among citizens to enforce public order. It emerges spontaneously at least as much as, perhaps more than, it is imposed by outsiders. And over the centuries it has changed from organically, with very little planning.” Experience dictates that ground-up stuff is eminently more lasting than impositions from on high. Our culture has evolved as well, but not because of any edicts from above. Some of the more divisive cultural behaviors once vehemently vilified by many are now accepted pieces of the cultural mosaic. And over time things will change because everything evolves; change is a constant. With respect to our current chaotic state, perhaps it is the precursor to another more efficient paradigm. One no less committed to our admirable shared vision of this country’s potential. Such shifts are inevitable. No one should be happy about, or indifferent to, the present administration’s authoritarian bent. We have endured sometimes painful growing pains for as long as we have been a nation. Our start had its very rocky moments. Some seriously threatened the very existence of these united states. My own view is that more important than the most creative of protests, our salvation relies on individual courage, the courts and the next election. My hope is that we come out of this turmoil with a revitalized sense of who we are and what we collectively stand for.

A concomitant of aging, at least for this curmudgeon, is a willingness to let go, not only of his beloved tractor, but of convictions that seem tenuous at best.

Dick deRosa’s Hawthorn Hill essays have appeared in “The Freeman’s Journal” since 1998. A collection, “Hawthorn Hill Journal: Selected Essays,” was published in 2012. He is a retired English teacher.