News from the Noteworthy from Opportunities for Otsego

‘Safety Is Not a Luxury—It’s a Right’

The holiday season arrives each year wrapped in warm lights, cheerful music and families gathered around a table. But beneath the festive surface of celebration lies a quieter, more painful reality for many—one that rarely makes it into the greeting cards. For countless individuals, December’s cheer is overshadowed by fear. Domestic violence, already a widespread crisis, often intensifies during the very season that promises peace.

It’s not hard to understand why. The holidays compress emotional, financial and social pressures into a matter of weeks. Budgets stretch, expectations skyrocket, schedules overflow and unresolved family tensions resurface. For people in abusive relationships, these stressors can ignite explosive situations. More time spent at home, often in cramped spaces or under tight financial strain, can increase opportunities for control, conflict or violence.

Yet the holiday season also has a way of silencing victims. When social narratives insist that this is “the happiest time of the year,” admitting abuse can feel like breaking an unwritten rule. Many survivors report staying quiet to avoid “ruining the holidays” for their children or extended family. Others find themselves isolated as schools close, workplaces slow down and support networks are traveling. Data collected by the National Domestic Violence Hotline shows that over the past several years the volume of hotline calls drastically decrease during the holidays. For example, incoming calls drop by roughly half on Thanksgiving and decrease by an average of 53 percent on Christmas Day.

Complicating matters further is the cultural emphasis on togetherness. Even well-intentioned loved ones may encourage victims to “keep the peace” or “just get through the holidays,” not realizing that these suggestions can deepen danger. Abuse thrives in secrecy and shame, and both tend to spike when the world is busy celebrating.

But the story doesn’t have to end there. The holidays can also be a time of noticing, checking in and extending compassion. Friends and relatives who see someone withdrawing, making excuses for a partner, or showing signs of fear can gently open the door to conversation. A simple “I’m here if you need me,” offered without judgment or pressure, can be more powerful than it sounds.

Perhaps the most important message we can send during this season is that no one is obligated to endure harm for the sake of holiday harmony. Safety is not a luxury—it is a right. The glow of the season means little if it leaves some in the shadows.

So as we exchange gifts and gather around tables, may we remember those for whom this time is hardest. May we listen without judgment, offer help without hesitation, and work toward a world where the holidays—and every day—are safe for all.

This year our community has witnessed the effects of domestic violence during the holiday season firsthand. With the tragic loss of SUNY Oneonta freshman Emily Finn the day before Thanksgiving, I urge you all to do your part in shining the light on those being left in the dark.

If you or someone you know feels unsafe, reaching out to a trusted individual or a professional resource is an act of courage, not disruption. Abuse does not pause for the holidays, and neither should support. Help is available 24/7 at Opportunities for Otsego at (607) 432-4855 or via e-mail at vip@ofoinc.org.

Tanya Shalor is the chief executive officer of Opportunities for Otsego.